My Story
I didn’t plan any of this.
Not long ago, my world imploded.
The betrayal. The lies. The manipulation. Nearly three years of my life ending in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
The kind of heartbreak that doesn’t just hurt… it shatters everything you thought you knew about yourself and the person you trusted most.
I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone. And if anyone has ever betrayed you, my heart truly goes out to you.
After many failed attempts (betrayal trauma looping and trauma bonding cycles are no joke), I walked away and started life completely over.
I’ve been doing the hardest work of my life for months: healing.
Unfortunately, this isn’t my first rodeo when it comes to the healing journey. I know the drill.
And I’m not talking about the surface-level “self-care” kind of healing.
I’m talking about the brutal kind that is not for the faint of heart.
The kind where you face every single dark corner of your trauma, one by one, sit with it, feel it fully, release, and somehow find a way forward.
It’s messy. It’s painful.
And for me, it’s absolutely necessary.
But healing 24/7 will break you. Your nervous system needs breaks. Your soul needs moments where you’re not drowning in the work.
I paint. Write. Create something to step away from the darkness for a moment and catch my breath.
But for some reason during this healing process, I started to use AI as my creative outlet and distraction…
Neighbor Life Origin
What came next was not planned. Not even close…
I started making ridiculous AI videos to distract myself. Just random sideways thoughts popping into my head when life felt too heavy.
Mr. Rogers. Tupac. Kurt Cobain. Bob Ross, and many others danced around in my head. All these icons from my childhood and teen years started showing up in my imaginary scenes.
I couldn’t stop writing about them and creating AI videos of the clips I imagined.
Whether I was losing my mind or resolving some past childhood traumas in the strangest way I’ve ever experienced… I was laughing my ass off creating them.
Not fake laughs. Real, gut-level laughter at the absurd scenarios playing out in my head. The kind of laughter I hadn’t felt in months.
Then I started writing songs and combined the videos with music I created. A whole universe opened up…
This chaotic neighborhood where healing happens sideways, in the dark, through humor.
I was the first person to create Tupac and Mr. Rogers AI videos. The idea went viral. Other creators started copying the format (and literally the videos on my page).
But many of them crossed lines I wouldn’t cross. Crude for the sake of crude. Shock value without the heart. That led to estates stepping in, and Tupac got blocked from AI generation entirely.
The original format was gone. But I wasn’t done.
The mission never changed. Just the method. Now I create different types of videos and continue to come up with ideas to test.
Same energy. Same healing through laughs. New formats that can’t be taken away.
Although I do not know if anything I create will match the energy Tupac and Mr. Rogers had (not to mention their healing power), I will keep trying.
The Shift / Community
I’ve made hundreds of videos now. It’s a blur. But somewhere in all that chaos, I realized something was shifting inside me.
I was actually healing my heart and soul through this somehow. And I didn’t really understand how or why.
Watching comedy videos on YouTube weren’t cutting it for me. I’m not even a fan of comedy clubs. My sense of humor has always been a bit off. Darker shall we say?
But somehow the videos I was making were just hitting different, deeper.
I decided to start a TikTok account and share some of the videos I was creating. I don’t know why, honestly.
But another real turning point wasn’t just that I was laughing again…
It was when people started commenting that these weird videos were helping them heal, too.
People commented that they laughed their asses off.
Some said they felt lighter. Others said that some videos healed something inside of them.
Some said they look forward to my posts. Others turned on notifications (sorry about the 2 a.m. uploads, by the way).
Suddenly I wasn’t alone anymore. That really helped.
Betrayal trauma can very often be the most isolating and soul-crushing loneliness one can feel in this lifetime.
The Connection
I don’t know what battles you’re fighting.
I don’t know if you’re here because you’re healing from something heavy, or if you just need a dark laugh to get through the day.
Either way, you’re welcome into the tiny little community I have on TikTok. There are a lot of amazing people and their comments often crack me up.
Or maybe we’re all just a crazy group of people with odd senses of humor who are going through tough times and could use a laugh or two or 100.
The Philosophy
Healing from any type of trauma isn’t easy or pretty. It’s fucking brutal, to be honest.
It’s not a straight line. It twists, turns, and sometimes goes completely sideways into the dark.
The real work happens in the shadows… facing trauma, sitting with pain, rebuilding yourself from nothing.
That’s the darker side ways.
And there are different ways through it.
For me, dark humor became an outlet and the medicine I needed to function.
Creating absurd AI videos became therapy. Laughing in the middle of chaos became survival.
This isn’t surface-level positivity. This is crawling through the darkness and finding light in the most unexpected places.
Since I’m talking about mental health here, if you are suffering, get help ASAP.
Don’t do it alone. Talk to someone. And call 911 if your thoughts are going too dark.
More Stuff
If you want even darker, check out my darker side of healing through betrayal trauma, FeelShift.
Warning: Some tracks may be triggering.
Bot not all songs on the BETRAYED album are dark. I do have a couple songs on the album that I really needed (and need).
Listen to then on Spotify:
For those who want more, I have a few other goodies for you…